Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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