The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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