just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
