those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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