oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
