I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
