You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
