Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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