It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Nicole vs. Life
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
