I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
this will be a night to untag.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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