I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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