I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
barbara walters just said penis...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
