i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
