Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
