im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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