jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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