Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
