Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
