you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
