My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
