On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
