I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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