i think i have herpe
just one?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
