so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
