Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
