walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
