i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
