2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
