My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
