I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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