HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
