I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
should my penis look like a turkey
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
