you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
