You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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