i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
