wake up i wanna do it froggy style
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
