im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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