So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
