he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
