The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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