New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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