Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
