There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
