my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm always down for nudity.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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