then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
