He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The air was thick with penises
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
