One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Sorry about my life...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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