Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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