Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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