In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
