Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
