PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
