I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
that's an acceptable place to lick
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
